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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the us between 1988 and 2000

the pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the us between 1988 and 2000
The
given two
Correct word order
two given
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 charts illustrate data about
totally
Replace the word
total
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 prices of fish in
table
Correct article usage
the table
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, foundations of bringing in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 in pie charts during a
12 -year
Correct your spelling
12-year
 period starting from 1988 and ending in 2000. As an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, we can see total cost in billions of dollars increased gradually during these periods of time.
Also
Linking Words
, the trade share of Canada drops significantly
in compare
Change preposition
compared
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of
Change preposition
to
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 China and others. It can be seen from the table total value
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 entrance fish to the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 of America was reported
6.57
Change preposition
as 6.57
show examples
in
Check wording
billion in
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 1988
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 after eight
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 pick the 5.52
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars in the first year of the
21th
Correct word choice
21st
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 century,
reached at
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 a culmination
just
Change preposition
of just
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above
Change preposition
over
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 10%. Over the same period
turning
Punctuation problem
, turning
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 to the pie charts, the proportions of the
principle
Use the right word
principal
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imported fish to the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 were observed
Canada
Punctuation problem
. Canada
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
Use the right word
three-fifths
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three-fifth
Punctuation problem
three-fifth,
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possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
show examples
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
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 share of
market
Correct article usage
the market
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.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 others and China were reported with 27% and 13% respectively in 1988. In terms of comparison, after 12
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 Canada dropped significantly
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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 other
and
Check wording
countries and
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 China had approximately 20% increased
Moderately
Fix capitalization
moderately
show examples
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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