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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show a plan of a city in 1950 and at the present.

The maps below show a plan of a city in 1950 and at the present.
The
maps
Use synonyms
 illustrate the plan of a city from 1950 until now
Overall
Linking Words
, the
maps
Use synonyms
 witnessed a plethora of changes as the projects of the city
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 the facilities and the population
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 have a significant increase from 20.000 to 200.000 people.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the middle of the map,
Major
Correct article usage
a Major
show examples
 road in 1950 connected to the
Business
Use synonyms
district
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 now it connects together and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 another
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the North side of the
Use synonyms
maps
Fix the agreement mistake
map
show examples
. The
Business
Use synonyms
district
Use synonyms
 and the Residential area
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 widened more than in
1950
Punctuation problem
1950,
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 the Government Building
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was outside the
Business
Use synonyms
district
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
now
Punctuation problem
; now
show examples
 it
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
 located
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inside the
Business
Use synonyms
district
Use synonyms
 and has another one in the Residential area.
In addition
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 River in the West of the
maps
Use synonyms
now
Verb problem
has now
show examples
 been divided into a Lake and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a Dam
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 the city build a Bridge in the middle of the
maps
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 bigger than in
1950
Punctuation problem
1950,
show examples
an
Use the right word
and
show examples
 another Bridge near the Dam
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 connects with the Major Road.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the Airport in the East of the
maps
Use synonyms
 has been larger than it when it in 1950 because of the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words maps, business, district with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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