IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of sunshine hours per year in three major city Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of sunshine hours per year in three major city Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graphs
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the monthly mean of both temperatures and sunshine
hours
Use synonyms
 in every year among three cities, the three cities are
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, temperatures in New
York
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
 are
in
Change preposition
at
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 the same level of started in the end,
although
Linking Words
 they
are increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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 through the period and
then
Linking Words
declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
.
As well as
Linking Words
 the sunshine
hours
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more in New
York
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 displays fell through the year,
while
Linking Words
 the temperatures
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 lower than
London
Use synonyms
 and New
Use synonyms
York's
Check wording
York
show examples
. The
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the two countries,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 more than
hours
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
London
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
London
Use synonyms
 it is 1,180
hours
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is lower than 2,535 and 2,473 for New
York
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
,
is
Use the right word
it
show examples
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 with 7
hours
Use synonyms
 from the beginning of the year to April, and
then
Linking Words
 started in increasing gradually to August to reach 28
hours
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
fell
Wrong verb form
falls
show examples
 to the point
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
it started
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started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
Sydney
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 with high
hours
Use synonyms
25
Change preposition
of 25
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
fell
Wrong verb form
falls
show examples
 to 15 by July, and
then
Linking Words
roses
Use the right word
rises
show examples
 again to the point of start in January.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, london, york, sydney with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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