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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the adults with education at high school level in six countries in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the adults with education at high school level in six countries in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates two age groups who
educated
Verb problem
were educated
show examples
 high
school
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 in six different countries in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people with 25-34
Use synonyms
year-olds
Use the right word
years
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 educated high
school
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
is more
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 than people with 55-64
Use synonyms
year-olds
Use the right word
years
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 in 5 out of 6 countries, except for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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. In S.Korea,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 with 25-34
Use synonyms
year-olds
Use the right word
years
show examples
 with education high
school
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 were twice the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of adults with 55-64
year-olds
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. The lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 with education high
school
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 belonged to China. In Korea, the 25-34
year-olds
Use synonyms
graduated
Correct pronoun usage
who graduated
show examples
high
Change preposition
from high
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school
Use synonyms
 had the highest
percentage
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, with around 98%, followed by Russia, with nearly 92%. Meanwhile, approximately 52% of the 25-34
year-olds
Use synonyms
 with education high
school
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were
Check wording
education were
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Brazil. The 55-64 age
in
Check wording
group in
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 South Korea was double the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of that one in Brazil, with nearly 44% and 24%, respectively.
Besides
Linking Words
, around 70% of the 55-64 age
educated
Verb problem
group are educated
show examples
 high
school
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 in Russia. The USA had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the 55-64
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
with
Check wording
group with
show examples
 graduated high
school
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
, with nearly 92%, followed by the figure for Germany, with around 82%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was China, with around 10%. The USA and Germany had the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the 25-34
year- olds
Use the right word
year-olds
show examples
, with approximately 88%, compared to 20% in China.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, level, percentage, year-olds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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