IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The exploration and development of safe alternatives of fossil fuels should be the most important global priority. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Give reasons for your answers

There is an argument
claimed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that it is crucial to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another energy source
for replacing
Change preposition
to replace
show examples
 petrol, and
this
Linking Words
 should be the
most
Correct word choice
top
show examples
 priority of the world. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective for the following reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as gasoline pollute our environment, and the pollution exists not only during their procedure to use, but
also
Linking Words
 present on their process to produce. It could damage the whole ecosystem of air, water and the earth as well.
For example
Linking Words
, the risk of leakage could let the oil pollute the earth or the sea where it is produced. And the energy generation, the main purpose of producing these
fuels
Use synonyms
, causes air pollution by burning.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to replace these classic
fuels
Use synonyms
 with new sources for environmental concerns.
Secondly
Linking Words
, those
fuels
Use synonyms
 are non-sustainable products because the total amount is limited, even including the undiscovered volumes. Some of them are difficult to get because of the digging technology.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is known that there is a large amount of gasoline under the Pacific Ocean, but some of them are impossible to get because of the depth under the sea.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the alternative products would be
favorable
Use the right word
favourable
show examples
 to introduce into people's daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 as quickly as possible.
The
Correct determiner usage
Last
show examples
last
Linking Words
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, replacing fossil fuel could lead to a great change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 system.
This
Linking Words
 could
also
Linking Words
 bring some opportunities to solve regional conflicts or even end a war because of
fuel
Correct article usage
a fuel
show examples
 crisis. In conclusion, it is better to totally remove fossil
fuels
Use synonyms
 as soon as possible by a new energy source which is clean, sustainable and environmentally friendly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: