IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people want the government to spend more money looking for life on other planets, while others think it is a waste of public money and there are many problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A discussion about whether the
government
Use synonyms
 should spend money to explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
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 on other
planets
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are
Wrong verb form
has been
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 argued recently. As for
this
Linking Words
 issue, I think the
government
Use synonyms
 have to balance both statements. The exploration outside our planet can improve
human’s
Check wording
human
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 knowledge. Exploring unknown resources from other
planets
Use synonyms
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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people
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 to meet their curiosity, like they may want to know if there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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life
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
planets
Use synonyms
 and if
people
Use synonyms
 could live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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planets
Use synonyms
 in the future? As for the experts, the sources which are covered now
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
 can benefit professionals with the exploration of scientific fields.
Also
Linking Words
exploring
Punctuation problem
, exploring
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 the other
planets
Use synonyms
 can improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cooperation around the world. With the same doubts about
life
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 in the future and the curiosity
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
planets
Use synonyms
, the resources can be shared when they cooperate.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the return of looking for
life
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with out
Use the right word
without
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 the
Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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 is extremely low, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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many
people
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 maintain their idea that it is more important to resolve the problems on the
Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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. Those
people
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 think it is significant for
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to consider
citizens
Check wording
citizens'
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 well-being, like
enforce
Wrong verb form
enforcing
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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 in order to encourage
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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protect
Verb problem
to protect
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 the environment of the
earth
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 and pay more attention to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 some residents think the
government
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 should focus on medical care and education
According to
Linking Words
 the debate above, I still think the
government
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 should
equitable allocating
Wrong verb form
allocate
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 the resources
.
Rephrase
equitably.
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 To explore the
life
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out of
Change preposition
off
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 the
earth
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 until the
life
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 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
earth
Use synonyms
 can be guaranteed. Only in
this
Linking Words
 way can
provide
Correct pronoun usage
we provide
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 social development
while
Linking Words
 exploring the unknown sources from other
planets
Use synonyms
 to meet individual curiosity.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic. Make it clear whether you support exploration or solving earth problems more.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples. This will help strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between your ideas, so it is easier to follow your arguments. Words like 'firstly', 'on the other hand', or 'finally' can help.
task achievement
You presented both views in your essay, which is important for this type of question.
coherence and cohesion
You showed an understanding of the importance of cooperation in space exploration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • extraterrestrial
  • terrestrial issues
  • poverty alleviation
  • sustainable
  • philosophical advancement
  • ethics
  • biological diversity
  • technological breakthroughs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal responsibility
  • humanity's place in the universe
  • pressing issues
  • critical resources
What to do next:
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