IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some government spend a lot of money on exploring space, some feel that this investment is justified while others thinlk that money should be spent on public services like healthcare and education. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The expenditure of a country must have been allocated to any needed sectors,
such
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 as
education
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, public services, and scientific discoveries prior to the respective year, maybe even 5 years before.
However
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, many people argue that spending a fantastic amount of the national budget for a sophisticated outer
space
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 discovery is a positive thing,
whereas
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 others believe that it is unwise knowing that there are more important sectors, namely health and
education
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both statements and why I side with the latter. Scientific discoveries, especially
space
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 explorations, have shown a profound impact on the development of modern knowledge, compared to decades ago. Take supermassive blackhole imagery,
for instance
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, Scientists could only illustrate a blurred depiction of it centuries ago and now we are able to see a clear picture of it, learn about its distance from Earth, and even its impact on nearby planets.
This
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 magnificent discovery exists
as a result
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 of the extravagant investments in universe explorations, which is beneficial for future findings and maybe in the near future, the experts will be able to locate an earth-like planet
Change preposition
on that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 we can reside.
Hence
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, the huge amount of budget spent on
space
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 exploration investment is very justified.
Nonetheless
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, there are abundant public sectors that still need a lot of financial aid from the authority,
such
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 as health and
education
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 to elevate their availability and effectiveness, especially for citizens who live in the isolated parts of the country.
For example
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, the ketamine epidemic and low
education
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 index persist in America, which is one of the countries with the highest investment in universe explorations.
Therefore
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, governments fail to anticipate more urgent facets when they allocate the national budgets, which is why it is obviously unfair if they turn their back on the public and choose a lesser urgent matter to invest in.
Furthermore
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, healthcare and
education
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 aspects ought to be put at the very top of the authority's priority when they set the national budgets. In conclusion,
although
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space
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 discovery is crucial for the development of modern knowledge and technology, the public's well-being and academic aspects have a way greater urgency and need immediate funding to handle them.
Finally
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, financially supporting the citizens' basic rights overshadows the need for
space
Use synonyms
 exploration investments.

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Task achievement
Ensure that both viewpoints and your own opinion are fully developed with clear, detailed explanations throughout the essay. Reflect on the prompt completely without leaving out any subtopics or ideas.
Coherence
Improve coherence by better organizing your main ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically follow from the previous one.
Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, make use of a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas and arguments.
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