IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that international car-free day will help in reducing fuel usage and air pollution. Others believe there is an effective alternative to this. To what extent do you agree with this opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is an ongoing debate about International Car-Free Day. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
this
Linking Words
 day will decrease the percentage of contamination and uncontrol fuel usage;
however
Linking Words
,others think there is some other method to reduce
this
Linking Words
. I agree that there are some alternative methods, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will prove it.  
To begin
Linking Words
 with, working with our society and paying more attention to these
problems
Use synonyms
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 understand what they should do.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the more effective way to teach children in school,how to create a friendly
environment
Use synonyms
, and which skills you should have to reduce
this
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
,in Russia, the main emphasis is on
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 studying at school,where children understand all aspects and gain new skills
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning the territory,riding by bike to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school,which can reduce air pollution, and especially sorting the rubbish into the right section of the bin.
Therefore
Linking Words
,they will reduce the amount of garbage on the street and understand
this
Linking Words
 political system from an early age.  
However
Linking Words
,many
people
Use synonyms
 do not care about their green heritage,which can lead to  some ecological
problems
Use synonyms
. In many parts of the world,
people
Use synonyms
 faced
this
Linking Words
 problem after some time, when they could solve it. Regardless of citizenship, many
people
Use synonyms
 can throw their cigarette filters on the ground,but they are
also
Linking Words
 able to throw them in garbage bins on the street.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 case has the potential to cause additional
problems
Use synonyms
 beyond pollution,
such
Linking Words
 as wildfires in forests or fields.
Thus
Linking Words
, if we set up some rules and show examples of them,we will certainly reduce the
problems
Use synonyms
 with contamination and save our
environment
Use synonyms
.  
To sum up
Linking Words
, if we summarise these two reasons,we can achieve
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 balance between pollution and a friendly
environment
Use synonyms
,which will improve the situation and stability in our world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Try to clearly introduce your argument in the introduction and restate your position in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
Sentence Complexity
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to improve fluency and coherence.
Linking Words
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
Make sure to address the essay prompt directly by explicitly stating to what extent you agree or disagree within your argument to improve task response.
Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your reasons, which strengthens your argument.
Structure
Your essay structure is logical, with clear paragraphs for each main point.
Topic Sentences
You effectively used a topic sentence at the beginning of paragraphs to introduce the main idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmentally friendlier alternatives
  • sustainable living
  • transportation choices
  • implementation
  • urban planning
  • non-motorized transportation
  • economic impacts
  • feasibility
  • robust public transportation systems
  • technological and policy innovations
  • smart traffic management systems
  • congestion pricing
  • incentives
  • low-emission vehicles
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • cultural shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays: