In many countries there is a shortage of suitable people for essential jobs. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measure could be taken to solve?

In many
nations
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nations,
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there is not a vast
reng
Correct your spelling
range
of
people
Use synonyms
who are interested in
vitial
Correct your spelling
vital
career. To the best of my knowledge, these
jobs
Use synonyms
are too hard and they have some burdensome responsibilities. If the government give them
good
Correct article usage
a good
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salary
Punctuation problem
salary,
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they will be more excited
for
Change preposition
about
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this
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kind of
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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.
It is clear that
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important
jobs
Use synonyms
need
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of
efforts
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effort
show examples
than other
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
show examples
like
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
which are easy and safe. The essential
jobs
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as
electrician
Correct article usage
an electrician
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, plumber need
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
of focus on that work. They are as hard as being a doctor. If
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
do not pay attention to their
jobs
Use synonyms
, they will
sacrify
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
themselves. There is
not
Rephrase
no
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real
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
for them. It is true that
people
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like to live long.
Researches
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Research
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
shown that
people
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who work in these fields
,
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apply
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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live
shoter
Correct your spelling
shorter
than others. They have the highest responsibility for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the works
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. The government can solve
this
Linking Words
issue by
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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them
high
Correct article usage
a high
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amount of
remuneratin
Correct your spelling
remuneration
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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persuade
Verb problem
will persuade
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people
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to
Verb problem
take that
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that
Correct determiner usage
those
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jobs
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more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
. Salary is a thing that
people
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work for
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
. If they earn a little money, they do not accept that at all.
However
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, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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exception
Fix the agreement mistake
exceptions
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sometimes
Punctuation problem
; sometimes
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they have to do each
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jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
without attention to how much they earn. It is obvious that in many cases
people
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prefer to earn more money. The authority is responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
these
jobs
Use synonyms
and should
prepare
Verb problem
conduct
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more
Correct word choice
further
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investigation
Fix the agreement mistake
investigations
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
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these
jobs
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, individuals
do
Verb problem
are
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not keen on working in the essential
jobs
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because these
jobs
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require
the
Correct article usage
apply
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massive
phisycal
Correct your spelling
physical
activities that they have to do.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the government has to invest more money in these occupations to
satisfide
Correct your spelling
satisfy
their employees to do these
jobs
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have a clear plan for your essay. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple and correct grammar. Check your sentences for mistakes.
task achievement
Add more examples that support your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states the problem and your main points for solving it.
coherence and cohesion
Separate your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a beginning, middle, and end.
task achievement
You addressed the topic and provided some reasons why people avoid essential jobs.
task achievement
You suggested a solution of increasing salaries to encourage people to take these jobs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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