IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

While
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 many argued that advertisement has a strong
consequence
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effect
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 on the crowd because they may involve a certain thing that catches the audience's attention, others believe that it doesn'
t
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 have any effect, as they may appear at the wrong time or place. I believe that a perfect commercial should be determined by the proper date for it to appear,
while
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 simultaneously involving the interests of the promotion audience.
This
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 essay will discuss both opinions
To begin
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 with, some people think that contemporary commercials have a strong effect on the citizens, and that by catching their attention, through include some of their interests and attract them.
For example
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, the Nike company in California, USA, made an
ad
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 that was targeting Gen Z; they included a famous song among the Teens, and it exploded.
On the other hand
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, others argued that an
ad
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 is useless and doesn'
t
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 have any noticeable effect. Their argument is basically that commercials always appear at the wrong moment ,which leads the targeted crowd to ignore them.
For instance
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, statistics were conducted by the administration of YouTube, and they noticed that huge numbers of users don'
t
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 pay attention to the
ad
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,which proves the main point that advertisements don'
t
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 have any outcome In conclusion,
this
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 essay shows that promotions can have a two-sided impact, and
that
Correct determiner usage
this
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 depends on how the commercial is conducted.
In addition
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, a good
ad
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 should include targeting people's activities and interests, but if it appears at the wrong moment, it will have negative consequences.
However
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, I believe that advertisements are considered one of the strongest tools to promote a certain product, but that under the right conditions and circumstances.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly present your main points in separate paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates to your thesis.
task achievement
Use more examples and details to support your opinions.
task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main ideas you will discuss.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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