IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: give details about the concert describe how you won the tickets explain why you have chosen your friend to go with you

#two #tickets #concert #friend
Dear Yashika, How have you been? It’s been so long since we spoke. I know you called me but I haven’t been able to get back to anyone
due to
 the hectic schedule of mine. Anyway, I
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 something to share with you, remember we used to think about going to a concert by Karan Aujla? Guess what, I won two tickets for his upcoming show in Vancouver and the first person that stumbled across my mind was you. It will be a 2-hour long concert and we’ll have to fly to Vancouver but it's during New Year when you and I will be having off from work too. Call me lucky, but out of fifteen hundred people, I was one of the five lucky winners in a lucky draw to win these tickets. All we had to do was to subscribe his exclusive stories on Instagram to participate and I reckon was fortunate enough to win. I can’t express the reaction I had through
this
 letter. Out of all the people, you are the only person I would like to share my happiness with in
this
 matter as I still recall how crazy we were about listening to him when we were in high school. Going to his concert with you will give me goosebumps. I know you have a busy life with your family and work but I know you’ll be able to manage 2 days out of your life for me. I’ll send you the tickets in the mail. Let me know what you think about
this
. All the best, Karan
Submitted by karanmehta37872 on

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positive highlight
Your letter is very engaging and the tone is perfect for friendly correspondence. Well done!
advice
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, well-developed idea. This will further enhance the clarity and coherence of your letter.
advice
The details provided about the concert and how you won the tickets are sufficient and effectively addressed the task requirements. Consider, however, adding a little more excitement or anticipation about the event to make it even more engaging.
positive highlight
Your greeting and closing are excellent, making the letter warm and personal.
positive highlight
You've provided a complete response to the prompt, addressing all the points required.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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