Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

t
Correct your spelling
It
is sometimes argued that the best way to improve public
health
Use synonyms
is by increasing the number of sports facilities,
while
Linking Words
others contend that
this
Linking Words
would have little effect on public
health
Use synonyms
and other measures are required. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss both these views and show why I favour the latter. It is understandable why
people
Use synonyms
think increasing sports amenities may reduce public
health
Use synonyms
risk. It is mainly because with a better stadium, playground , and a park area would be motivated
people
Use synonyms
keep running or playing badminton , which could reduce
health
Use synonyms
issues
such
Linking Words
as obesity and heart-related
.
Check wording
issues.
show examples
But there is another factor that contributes to
health
Use synonyms
problems
besides
Linking Words
laziness and less exercise. The bad dietary habits are one of the main reasons causing obesity and heart-related
.
Check wording
conditions.
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
could have other measures to tackle public
health
Use synonyms
risks. One of them is the government policies. They can make a campaign about the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of regular exercise and how a bad diet causes disease. They can encourage
people
Use synonyms
to eat healthier food by increasing taxes on the fast food industry. The living environment should be improved too. The government have to monitor waste treatment practices in factories. The stricter policies may be imposed to ensure a greener living environment. In conclusion, there are many grounds to reject the best way to improve public
health
Use synonyms
is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Because there are many factors that contribute to
.
Correct pronoun usage
it.
show examples
It is my view that the government should have other measures to improve public
health
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points connect logically.
task achievement
Give more specific examples to support your opinion and points.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and punctuation errors to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have presented both views clearly and addressed the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: