Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.

Many people argue that women have a greater role in raising children because they are better parents than
men
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. Others believe that
men
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and women are equally capable when it comes to parenting. In my opinion, mothers are needed more
due to
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their ability to provide emotional support;
however
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, children
also
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need their fathers
while
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growing up, learning different skills from them.
Firstly
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, only women can breastfeed newborns, which makes them essential during the first few years of a baby’s
life
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. Breastfeeding not only nourishes a
child
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but
also
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provides immunity to certain illnesses and builds a strong bond between
mother
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and
child
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.
In addition
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, giving birth forms an unbreakable love between the two, creating a deep emotional connection right from the start. Since
men
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do not have
this
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experience, it is a valid point that a
mother
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is more important in a
child
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’s
life
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, especially in the early years, which lay the foundation for a strong relationship.
Moreover
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, it is often believed that children see their
mother
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not as a separate person but as an extension of themselves.
Secondly
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,
due to
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evolutionary traits and the natural tendency of mothers to spend time in groups, they are often more social and emotionally mature than their male counterparts. Every
child
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needs to see emotions in order to reflect and understand them.
Men
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are often not capable of expressing emotions, as it used to be seen as a sign of weakness.
Nevertheless
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,
men
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play an important role in a baby’s
life
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, as they can demonstrate different skills, teach logical thinking, and show how to deal with other
men
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.
Therefore
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, a
mother
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can teach a
child
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how to live in a social society and understand emotions,
while
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a father can prepare them for the challenges of the real world. In conclusion,
while
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I do believe that a
mother
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is more important in a baby’s
life
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, and even essential during the early stages of development, a father is
also
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needed to help prepare the
child
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for adulthood.

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task achievement
Expand on some points with more examples or explanations to support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'however', 'for example', and 'in addition'.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic, stating that mothers are more important but fathers also play a key role.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing
  • paternal
  • maternal
  • gender roles
  • instincts
  • stereotypes
  • child-rearing
  • co-parenting
  • feminism
  • egalitarian
  • caregiver
  • empathy
  • bonding
  • support system
  • parental leave
  • role model
  • attachment
  • emotional intelligence
  • custody
  • household dynamics
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