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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart Mow shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.

The chart Mow shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
The bar chart illustrates information about changes in average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in
five
Use synonyms
 different cities from 1990 to
2022
Punctuation problem
2022,
show examples
 compared with the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in the year 1989.
Overall
Linking Words
 , most of these
cities 's
Check wording
cities'
show examples
 average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 were decreasing between 1990 and 1995.
However
Linking Words
, from 1996 to 2002, with the exception of Tokyo, most
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 were higher than
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 in 1989 . In the first
five
Use synonyms
 years, the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in Tokyo and London decreased the most,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 approximately 7%,
while
Linking Words
 those in New York decreased less, by only 5%.
However
Linking Words
, the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in Madrid and Frankfurt both increased by nearly 2%. In the following
five
Use synonyms
 years, the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in Madrid and Frankfurt remained high, but the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in New York and London
were increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 higher. Among them, London experienced the greatest change, with an increase of approximately 12%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in Tokyo remained low, they were higher than the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 of the previous
five
Use synonyms
yea
Use the right word
years
show examples

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words house, prices, five with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • suburb
  • metropolitan
  • trend
  • appreciation
  • depreciation
  • residential market
  • housing bubble
  • real estate
  • economic factors
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure development
  • property value
  • inflation-adjusted
  • comparative analysis
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