IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that universities should assign students to share dormitory rooms. Others think that students should be able to choose their roommates on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is believed by some that educational institutions should allocate the rooms to learners
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, others condemn that
students
Use synonyms
 should have the right to select their roommates. I will discuss both viewpoints
along with
Linking Words
 my own thoughts on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, getting random dormitories at universities can help
students
Use synonyms
 gain a keen knowledge of diverse cultures. To elaborate, people come from all around the world to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the universities. When freshers get the opportunity to stay with people from multiple nations, they will get exposure to new food, religions, cultures and beliefs.
This
Linking Words
 will refine their knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 cultural aspects.
According to
Linking Words
 many studies,
Students
Use synonyms
 tend to grow and learn more when they live in a mixed culture.
Hence
Linking Words
, sharing a dorm with people from a unique culture can benefit
students
Use synonyms
. On the opposite side, if the learners get the chance to choose their roommates, it can advantage them more and can even save their lives from turning into bad chapters. It is often said that, 'your company make you what you are'. It is completely true, because if you start living with the companions, just say who is are drug addict, it is going to affect your life for sure. It might look more captivating and may divert you from your actual path of study.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is extremely crucial to get an opportunity to select and know the person with whom you are going to share your room. Conclusively, giving choice to the tertiary schools to allocate random room companions can boost your knowledge in the realms of cultural perspective
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 be distressing to live with someone whose interests and habits are dissimilar to yours and can
also
Linking Words
 affect your focus on learning.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should be given an option to pick their roommates.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction should clearly outline both views before stating your opinion. Try to make your thesis statement stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs clearly show the flow of ideas. Use linking words to connect your points better.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, discuss a particular cultural aspect or incident that could happen when sharing a room.
task achievement
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your points well and states your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • assign
  • diverse range
  • social segregation
  • pre-existing friendships
  • shared interests
  • harmonious living environment
  • compatible
  • potential conflicts
  • flexibility
  • adaptability
  • invaluable life skills
  • personal satisfaction
  • autonomy
  • responsibility
  • sense of agency
  • balance
  • preferences
  • criteria
What to do next:
Look at other essays: