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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows different sources of air popllutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005.

The graph below shows different sources of air popllutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005.
The presented line graph illustrates
variety
Replace the word
various
show examples
 sources of
air
Use synonyms
pollutans
Correct your spelling
pollutants
 in the UK between 1990 and 2005. In general,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a number of information given by
million
Use synonyms
tones
Use the right word
tons
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, there have been a lot of changes in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 sources.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of the
year
Use synonyms
, the
source
Use synonyms
 of total
air
Use synonyms
 pollutants
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decreased substantially.
While
Linking Words
, other three data are
almost remained
Correct word order
remained almost
show examples
 stable
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
. Observing the graph in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the households remained unchanged
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 one
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
during
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
source
Use synonyms
 dropped rapidly in 1996
almost to
Correct word order
to almost
show examples
 one
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
.From 1996 to 2002, the households experienced a fluctuation. Afterwards,
this
Linking Words
source
Use synonyms
 went down quickly by zero
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 total
air
Use synonyms
 pollutants, as you can see that
this
Linking Words
 data plummeted from seven
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 to four
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 during 9
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the total
air
Use synonyms
 pollutants stayed the same between 1999 and 2002 at 3,5
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, by 2005,
this
Linking Words
source
Use synonyms
 decreased considerably to 3
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the information of industry declined slightly from 5,5
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 to 5
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 during 3
years
Use synonyms
. In the middle of the
year
Use synonyms
, the industry fell significantly by 3
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 in 1996. Ultimately, the industry continued to decline
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2
millipn
Correct your spelling
million
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transport increased slightly to one
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 between 1990 and 1996.
In addition
Linking Words
, the transport did not change during 9
years
Use synonyms
 at 1,5
million
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tone
Use the right word
tons
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words air, million, year, source, tone, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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