IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Immigration is a major life choice that somebody can think about. Moving to another nation has its
reasons
Use synonyms
. There may sometimes be regrets about relocating to a new environment.
This
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 essay will outline the
reasons
Use synonyms
 why people immigrate and the consequences that it can lead to. On the one hand, there are several
reasons
Use synonyms
 for immigration.
First,
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someone planning to study abroad is a great choice. Studying somewhere new is a major life changer. They want to experience the country's culture.
Second,
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a career is needed in society. A person might want new subordinates and work experience.
For example
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, a surgeon is employed overseas at a hospital where there is a shortage of medical specialists.
Finally
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, starting a life somewhere else can be a hassle. Wishing to live
such
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 an experience is wonderful.
On the other hand
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, there are some obstacles to face.
First,
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settling in a different nation may not meet expectations. Imagination is most definitely unlike reality. Multiple Individuals will face issues once shifting because they are unprepared. Issues
such
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 as rent, lifestyle and communication with neighbours are important.
For instance
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, learning about the local laws is necessary.
Last
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 but not least, adapting to a new culture takes time. Culture and tradition are very difficult to adapt to at the start. Another major factor is the presence of discrimination and racism. These might be encountered by immigrants in a new country. In conclusion, there are plenty of
reasons
Use synonyms
 why one might change countries.
However
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, the complications to face are minimal and can be overcome easily.

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task response
Your introduction can be clearer by stating specific reasons and consequences upfront. Instead of just saying that you will outline them, mention immigration due to study, work, and family as examples right away.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better with linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task response
Each paragraph should focus on one idea and develop it fully. For instance, your reasons for immigration could be explained in more detail with specific examples for each.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with generalizations like 'last but not least'. Make sure each point adds something new to your argument.
task achievement
You did a good job stating there are reasons and consequences of immigration, which is central to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs for different points, which makes it easier to read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
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