IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places #people #ban
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Smoking is injurious to
health
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 and especially to the community. Individuals think that
such
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 resistance is valid. In my opinion, I contend with
this
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 statement as smoking is detrimental to one's
health
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 and passive
smokers
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 suffer when
smokers
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 decide to
smoke
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 in public
places
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 restriction aids
smokers
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 to quit smoking. The primary reason why making it illegal to
smoke
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 in public makes sense as it prevents people from developing serious
health
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 issues especially related to second-hand
smoke
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. Passive smoking is something that non-
smokers
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 cannot avoid in the presence of a smoker, and it is just dangerous for everyone's
health
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. A ban in public
places
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 limits
this
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 type of exposure.
For instance
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, after Ireland decided to ban smoking in public
places
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, there was a significant decline in lung diseases and other lethal diseases, leading other nations to adopt similar measures. The second main reason why
this
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 ban is required is that it helps those addicted to quit smoking. Since
smokers
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 are restricted from smoking in public
places
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, they are left with no choice but to quit for some time. Most people dislike the feeling of being ostracised, but
this
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 provides an excellent opportunity for them to quit it for a few hours.
Therefore
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, the social pressure brought by the social bans is cited as one of the reasons to quit smoking by the ex-
smokers
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.
For example
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, flights
restricts
Change the verb form
restrict
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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smokers
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 to refrain from smoking for a few hours, and it helps them to break the addiction of smoking every few minutes. In conclusion, I think making it a law not to
smoke
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 in public
places
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 should be encouraged as it prevents innocent people from developing lung diseases, and it
also
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 puts social pressure on
smokers
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 to quit smoking.
Submitted by sakshi.s16 on

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language use
To further strengthen your essay, consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating more complex grammatical forms. This could enhance the sophistication of your writing and potentially improve your score.
task response
Although your essay has a clear position throughout, adding a broader range of arguments and exploring counterarguments could provide a more in-depth analysis and enrich your essay's content.
content
You've provided clear main points with relevant examples, effectively supporting your opinion regarding the ban on smoking in public places.
structure
Your essay demonstrates good structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, aiding its overall coherence.
task response
You've clearly maintained your position throughout the essay, which is a key aspect of task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
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