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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the line graph shows the number of immigrants to 3 countries [USA , Canada , Australia ] from 1991 to 2001 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the line graph shows the number of immigrants to 3 countries [USA , Canada , Australia ] from 1991 to 2001 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table below illustrates how
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 people
immigranted
Correct your spelling
immigrated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 three different countries
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
Canada
Use synonyms
,
Australila
Correct your spelling
Australia
, USA
between
Punctuation problem
, between
show examples
 1991 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 experienced a sharp decline in immigration,
wheraes
Correct your spelling
whereas
Canada
Use synonyms
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 saw an upward trend during the period of time. By the
enf
Correct your spelling
end
 of the year,
Canada
Use synonyms
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
leading
Correct article usage
a leading
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 destination for immigrants . At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the period,
Australia
Use synonyms
 had by far the highest number of immigrants, at around 2,600 in 1991.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure dropped steadily over the next four years, dropping
approximently
Correct your spelling
approximately
 1,200 in 1994. Afterwards, immigration to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
 fell dramatically, reaching a low of just 500 by 1996 remained stable at
this
Linking Words
 level until 2001.
In contrast
Linking Words
, both
Canada
Use synonyms
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
 experienced upward trends. Immigration to
Canada
Use synonyms
 was just 500,
this
Linking Words
 number rose sharply to around 2000 in 1995, overtaking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
Use synonyms
. After a brief drop , it continued to increase gradually, finishing around 1500 in 2000. A relatively similar pattern could be observed in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, as it
also
Linking Words
 started nearly 1000 and
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
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 growing
never
Punctuation problem
, never
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 experiencing
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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, finishing the period
2500
Change preposition
at 2500
show examples
, the highest among the three countries.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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