IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides key information about the
divorcement
Replace the word
divorce
show examples
portion
Check wording
rate
show examples
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
 Finland and
Swaeden
Correct your spelling
Swedish
 citizens
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 over the period from 2011 to 2015. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that Sweden people had remained the highest over the years
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
,
has
Correct pronoun usage
which has
show examples
 declined.
Whereas
Linking Words
, Finland humans had
fluctuted
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in number
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 over the period, and the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 is the
major
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 they
reach
Wrong verb form
have reached
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,
Swedens
Check wording
Sweden's
show examples
 portion
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
 with nearly 44%
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2011.
Also
Linking Words
, in the third
year
Use synonyms
2013
Punctuation problem
, 2013
show examples
, has decreased slightly, and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 was in 2015, with approximately 38%.
For
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Finlands
Check wording
Finland's
show examples
 people begin with over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
35%.
Linking Words
then
Fix capitalization
Then
show examples
 in the next
year
Use synonyms
 went down almost 2%.
Then
Linking Words
 the next three years went upwards. In terms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
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 the highest and the lowest rates of divorce
humans
Change preposition
among humans
show examples
,
Swedens
Fix the agreement mistake
Sweden
show examples
 in 2012
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Check wording
rate
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 nearly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the population, compared to the lowest in the least
year
Use synonyms
 has downwarded, with 11%. Namely,
Finlands
Check wording
Finland's
show examples
 population the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 they reached is in 2012, with 33%. And the top rank was in 2015 with a percentage above 40%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • divorce
  • rate
  • country
  • year
  • show
  • change
  • increase
  • decrease
  • higher
  • lower
  • trend
  • comparison
  • data
  • overall
  • feature
  • attitude
  • peaks
  • fluctuation
  • years
  • society
  • European
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