IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been claimed by many that governments investing funds
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 exploration are completely a wastage of money.
Instead
Linking Words
, these funds can be used for other developments,
such
Linking Words
 as
upgrade
Replace the word
upgrading
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 and health
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
,
improvise
Verb problem
improving
show examples
 infrastructure,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 would benefit the countries. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because exploring the
space
Use synonyms
 for better life options is the demand of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, from centuries
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 date, human life is only possible on the
Earth
Use synonyms
 planet. Unfortunately, human intervention with the natural environment, namely, deforestation, fossil fuel emissions,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 contaminated the environment's quality.
As a result
Linking Words
, several environmental issues,
such
Linking Words
 as greenhouse
gases effect
Fix the agreement mistake
gas effects
show examples
, global warming, and climate change, are at
alarming
Correct article usage
an alarming
show examples
 stage.
Additionally
Linking Words
, no foolproof solutions have
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
emerged to resolve these environmental challenges.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Earth
Use synonyms
 is no longer a safer place for human and other creatures' survival.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is required to discover the
space
Use synonyms
 and find alternative areas for human survival.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 was filled with valuable
resources
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
water
Use synonyms
, coal, petrol
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, business people
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 their profits, and individuals
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 their comfortable living, have exploited all the precious
resources
Use synonyms
 available on the
Earth
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, communities are now left with a few
resources
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays, pure
water
Use synonyms
 availability is the biggest concern around the globe. Some areas of the world are turning
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 drought areas, and people would have to travel
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
far
Correct word choice
faraway
show examples
 places to get some
water
Use synonyms
. Experts are even saying that soon there
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be a third world war for the
water
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 human negligence,
Use synonyms
Earth
Correct article usage
the Earth
show examples
planet
Check wording
apply
show examples
has almost depleted its quality and
resources
Use synonyms
, and there are no possible ways to
get
Verb problem
help
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 recover from these challenges.
Hence
Linking Words
, for the survival of future human generations, it is the need of the time to search
better
Change preposition
for better
show examples
 alternatives in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use clear linking words to help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your main points.
positive
You addressed an important topic and made a clear argument about the need for space exploration.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: