IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the
divorce
Use synonyms
 rates in
Finland
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 from 2011 to 2015.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had a consistently higher
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 than
Finland
Use synonyms
 in the earlier years. In 2011, the figure for
Sweden
Use synonyms
 stood at approximately 45%,
whereas
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
 recorded a slightly lower
rate
Use synonyms
 of around 38%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the following year saw a divergence, as
Sweden
Use synonyms
’s
rate
Use synonyms
 rose sharply to just under 50%,
while
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
’s dropped to about 33%.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend started to shift from 2013 onwards.
Although
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
 maintained a higher
rate
Use synonyms
 that year, it experienced a slight decline to 47%,
whereas
Linking Words
Finland
Use synonyms
’s
rate
Use synonyms
 climbed to roughly 39%. By 2014, the gap between the two countries had narrowed even
further
Linking Words
, with
Finland
Use synonyms
 at around 41% and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 at 44%. Interestingly, in 2015,
Finland
Use synonyms
’s
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 surpassed that of
Sweden
Use synonyms
 for the first time.
Finland
Use synonyms
 reached approximately 43%,
while
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
’s
rate
Use synonyms
 dropped to about 38%.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Finland
Use synonyms
 became the country with the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. In summary,
while
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had higher
divorce
Use synonyms
 rates in the early years,
Finland
Use synonyms
 showed a steady increase over time and eventually overtook
Sweden
Use synonyms
 by 2015.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words divorce, finland, sweden, rate with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • divorce
  • rate
  • country
  • year
  • show
  • change
  • increase
  • decrease
  • higher
  • lower
  • trend
  • comparison
  • data
  • overall
  • feature
  • attitude
  • peaks
  • fluctuation
  • years
  • society
  • European
What to do next:
Look at other essays: