It is important for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Some
people
believe that doing the same thing day after day makes them happy with what they have.
However
, others argue that making some changes in their
life
is a paramount aspect that contributes not only to their career but
also
to their individual
life
as human beings. In
this
essay, I will argue that taking some different aspects of
people
's lives will increase their knowledge and achieve their success. One of the good things about risk-taking is that
people
can have a broadening of their horizons.
People
can learn from many different kinds of jobs. It makes individuals struggle. Take nurses as an example. Their careers require many struggles in taking care of patients. They may find it difficult to serve many patients who complain about their health. But in
this
case, they learn more about how to overcome and find the solution.
In addition
, they will gain more experience to be successful
in addition
to dealing with the situation. Another advantage of taking up a new opportunity is that it helps to achieve something in
life
, despite having to face some difficulties in coping with the new career. Many negative effects of a previous job can make
people
feel uncomfortable and unsatisfied.
This
can reduce their motivation and courage to build a new career and gain other opportunities. Individual jobs can be made more rewarding with a little effort to manage change and some new strategies and good plans.
For example
, an online retailer who failed in his first attempt to be a professional business. Just making some effort and creating a new innovation can make him/her become a successful person. In conclusion, making changes in order to deal with an individual’s
life
problems is a beneficial aspect of human
life
in order to either broaden the horizon
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
achieve success in
life
.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should state your main argument, body paragraphs should support this with examples and explanations, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure the essay follows a logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should help the reader understand how your ideas connect.
Task Achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to support each main point. The examples should illustrate your argument and not merely repeat the point. They should be detailed enough to clarify and reinforce your ideas.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task. Ensure you answer the question fully, provide a clear opinion, and discuss the advantages and disadvantages if required by the prompt. Develop your ideas fully to meet the required task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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