IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Due to traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Increasing
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion and housing shortages have significantly altered urban living, prompting governments to relocate enterprises in urban areas
Verb problem
to achieves
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achieves
Correct subject-verb agreement
achieve
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 positive outcomes in the aspects of mitigating
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams and reducing housing pressure for
city
Use synonyms
 people.
However
Linking Words
, the establishment of factories and commercial zones can significantly disrupt the daily lives of rural residents. Increased industrial activity often leads to air and water pollution, which can compromise local agricultural practices and contaminate essential resources
such
Linking Words
 as soil and drinking water.
As a result
Linking Words
, the health and well-being of rural communities may deteriorate, with residents facing higher risks of illness and a reduced quality of life.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, shifting business
centers
Use the right word
centres
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 from crowded
city
Use synonyms
 areas to suburban or rural regions can effectively relieve urban
traffic
Use synonyms
.
Centralized
Use the right word
Centralised
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 business operations often lead to a high concentration of private vehicles in
city
Use synonyms
centers
Use the right word
centres
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, exacerbating road congestion and increasing pollution. When companies
decentralize
Use the right word
decentralise
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 their operations and move to the outskirts, fewer commuters are required to travel long distances
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 urban hubs.
Although
Linking Words
 carbon emissions may still occur, the ove10rall reduction in inner-
city
Use synonyms
traffic
Use synonyms
 can significantly enhance commuting efficiency and reduce peak-hour delays.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the relocation of businesses can
also
Linking Words
 help reduce housing pressure in cities. As commercial activity disperses, more residential properties in
city
Use synonyms
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
 become available for tenants.
This
Linking Words
 increase in housing supply can make rents more affordable and provide better living conditions for those working in the
city
Use synonyms
. Greater access to housing near workplaces not only alleviates stress for individuals searching for accommodation but
also
Linking Words
 contributes to a more efficient urban workforce, thereby supporting long-term economic growth. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks for businesses in rural areas,
Linking Words
thus
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the benefits significantly outweigh the drawbacks.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Try to create clear connections between your ideas and sentences. Use linking words to show how ideas relate.
task achievement
Use specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your ideas clearer and stronger.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • housing crisis
  • economic development
  • job creation
  • operational expenses
  • transport infrastructure
  • quality of life
  • spacious living
  • cultural vibrancy
  • profitability
  • infrastructure challenges
  • commute times
  • air pollution
  • rural revitalization
  • local economy
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