IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others argue that circumstances and motivation of each crime should always be considered when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is commonly argued that each type of
crime
Use synonyms
 should be punished with strict measures,
while
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 others opine that when
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
 is committed, people should keep in mind and consider what causes individuals to violate the law. In my opinion, all illegal actions can be fixed with punishments;
however
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,
circumstances
Correct article usage
the circumstances
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
crime
Use synonyms
 should not be neglected.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both perspectives and give a personal point of view.
It is clear that
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 the number of perpetration of
offenses
Use the right word
offences
show examples
 has been increasing since
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last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 century. In many countries,
for example
Linking Words
, various unlawful acts can be seen,
such
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 as intentional homicide and theft, and these crimes cannot be justified
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
.
Additionally
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, many believe that major
offenses
Use the right word
offences
show examples
 are attributed to minor misdeeds; namely, the more culprits commit
mini
Correct word choice
minor
show examples
 illegal actions like stealing small things, the more
this
Linking Words
 may become large.
Thus
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, some individuals advocate that human beings who infringe on the law must be condemned to life imprisonment, and they
also
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 think that
such
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 punishment is the
solely
Replace the word
sole
show examples
 way to get rid of the
crime
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, if the government introduces repression as a prison sentence, people will try to avoid
carrying out
Verb problem
committing
show examples
 a
crime
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country will be free from criminals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, society
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 these reasons.
On the other hand
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, there is no doubt
committing
Correct word choice
that committing
show examples
 the
offense
Use the right word
offence
show examples
 has not always been deliberate. As an illustration, in some cases of collision, a driver who
hit
Wrong verb form
hits
show examples
 the pedestrian does not do
this
Linking Words
 misfortune intentionally.
This
Linking Words
 may be caused by indifference.
That is
Linking Words
 why justices have to consider
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
 of criminal acts when they are judging.
Finally
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,
Linking Words
such
Change preposition
in such
show examples
 cases, if people break the rules, the punishment should not be
strict
Rephrase
as strict
show examples
 compared to
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
show examples
 judgment. In conclusion, despite the advantages of
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
show examples
 penalty, from my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
 it should be punished taking both circumstances and motivation into account.

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Task Response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas better, such as "for example" or "moreover" to improve flow.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
You presented both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion is clear and organized.
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