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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table below presents the food comsumption per a person weekly in a European country in 1992, 2002 and 2012.

the table below presents the food comsumption per a person weekly in a European country in 1992, 2002 and 2012.
The table shows information concerning the
food
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
consumed by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 per
weekly
Check wording
week
show examples
 in Europe during 1992, 2002 and 2012. The data can be
categorized
Use the right word
categorised
show examples
 into vegetables, meat, wheat,
bean
Fix the agreement mistake
beans
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 and cheese. Units are measured as
grams
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that vegetables were the most
food
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 that people ate in every
year
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least
food
Use synonyms
 that
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 eaten by people
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 cheese.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, vegetables were the highest volume that were 2140, 2190 and 2220 in 1992, 2002 and 2012, respectively.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
tne
Correct your spelling
the
 number of consumption for wheat and
bean
Fix the agreement mistake
beans
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 grew continuously from 837 and 532
grams
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 in 1992 to 977 and 590
grams
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 in 2012, respectively
On the other hand
Linking Words
, meat
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
only
Correct article usage
the only
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food
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 number
were fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
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 because the value of meat
were
Verb problem
apply
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eaten in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 by person was lower than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first
year
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, at 1132
grams
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.
However
Linking Words
, the number of cheese
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 113
grams
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 in 1992
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 slightly rose to 125
grams
Use synonyms
 in the next
year
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
numer
Correct your spelling
number
 remained in 2012.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, grams, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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