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Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart and table
is showing
Wrong verb form
show
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 what causes reduced productivity on farm lands worldwide and
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 impact on 3 different countries in the 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
, over-grazing was the major cause of decreased land fertility in all nations, especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 Oceania. Europe was highly impacted by all three factors,
thus
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 over-cultivation, deforestation
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 the reason mentioned earlier. North
America
Use synonyms
 saw the least of their impact.
Although
Linking Words
 35% of agricultural lands were less productive globally
as a result
Linking Words
 of frequent grass feeding by animals,
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 proportion was just 1.5% in North
America
Use synonyms
 as compared to the other two nations
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 experienced higher rates. Even though continuous felling of trees brought about
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minimal damage
on
Change preposition
to
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 fields in North
America
Use synonyms
 (0.2%), that was the second major reason for land infertility in all the regions. Moving ahead, frequent planting and harvesting did not occur in the large group of islands
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, 3.3% of North
America
Use synonyms
's fields were affected
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 Europe experiencing only 7.7%. Other phenomena were responsible for 7% of
this
Linking Words
 negative effect on the grounds.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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