•Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

THERE HAS BEEN A LARGE UPSURGE TO EXTEND THE WORKING
HOURS
Use synonyms
FOR
Use synonyms
PEOPLE
Correct your spelling
PEOPLE.
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
SOME
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
ARGUED
Wrong verb form
ARGUE
show examples
THAT
COUNTRIES
Use synonyms
WITH
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
LONG WORKING
HOURS
Use synonyms
ARE MORE BENEFICIAL FOR SUCCESS AND
OTHER
Fix the agreement mistake
OTHERS
show examples
SIAD
Use the right word
SAID
show examples
TAHT
Correct your spelling
THAT
COUNTRIES
Use synonyms
WHICH THEY DO NOT HAVE
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
LONG WORKING
HOURS
Use synonyms
, I STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH THE
LATER
Use the right word
LATTER
show examples
STATEMENT
Correct your spelling
STATEMENT.
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
I AM GOING TO
ELOBRATE
Verb problem
ELOQUENTLY EXPRESS
show examples
MY VIEWS IN THE UPCOMING PARAGRAPHS.
TO BEGIN
Linking Words
WITH,
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
CAN SPEND MORE
TIME
Use synonyms
WITH THEIR FAMILY
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
IF
COUNTRIES
Use synonyms
HAS
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
LIMITIED WORKING
Correct your spelling
limited working hours
Use synonyms
HOURS
Punctuation problem
HOURS,
show examples
THEN
Linking Words
THEY CAN ENJOY THEIR QUALITY
TIME
Use synonyms
WITH THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
BECAUSE
Punctuation problem
, BECAUSE
show examples
OF
THAT
Punctuation problem
THAT,
show examples
THEY CAN STRENGTH THEIR BONDS
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
IN SOME
Use synonyms
COUNTRIES
Punctuation problem
COUNTRIES,
show examples
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
WORK TOO
MUCH
Punctuation problem
MUCH,
show examples
THEN
Linking Words
THEY CAN NOT FIND A
TIME
Use synonyms
TO SPEND WITH THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS.
Linking Words
MOREOVER
Add a comma
MOREOVER,
show examples
IT WILL LEAD TO STRESS AND THEY
CAN NOT
Use the right word
CANNOT
show examples
GIVE PROPER FOCUS ON THEIR WORK. FOR
EXAMLE
Correct your spelling
example
IN
Punctuation problem
, IN
show examples
DEVELOPED
Use synonyms
COUNTRIES HAVE
Check wording
countries, they have
show examples
A LIMITED
HOURS
Use synonyms
SO
Punctuation problem
, SO
show examples
THEIR POPULATION ENJOY
THIER
Correct your spelling
their time on
TIME
Use synonyms
ON THE TRIPS AND LOVE TO EAT DIFFERENT FOOD
SO
Punctuation problem
, SO
show examples
THEY CAN
FOUCS ON THEIR
Correct your spelling
focus on their
WORK.
FURTHERMORE
Linking Words
, EXTENDING
HOURS
Use synonyms
CAN LEAD TO SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES , TO EXAMPLIFY IF POLICY MAKERS EXTEND THE WORKING
HOURS
Use synonyms
THEN
Linking Words
WORKERS NOT ABLE TO DO THEIR DAILY ROUTINE THINGS LIKE GYM, FOOD AND EXPLORING OTHR CITIES , SO IT COULD LEAD TO THEIR SERIOUS HEALTH RELATED ISSUES LIKE OBESTY AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, TO REPLICATE THE
THIS
Linking Words
SERIOUS ISSUE GOVERNMENT HAS TO SPEND A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY AND IT WILL LEAD TO NEGETIVE THINGS FOR THE COUNTRY. AFTER POUNDERING A GREAT
DEALS
Fix the agreement mistake
DEAL
show examples
OF
THOUGHTS
Punctuation problem
THOUGHTS,
show examples
I WOULD LIKE
TO CONCLUDE
Linking Words
THIS
Linking Words
ESSAY THAT LONG WORKING
HOURS
Use synonyms
NOT
Verb problem
DO NOT
show examples
DEPEND
Rephrase
Necessarily depend
show examples
TO
Change preposition
on
show examples
BECOME A SUCCESSFUL
CONTRY IN THE
Correct your spelling
country in the
WORLD
BUT
Punctuation problem
, BUT
show examples
IT DEPENDS ON THERE THINGS LIKE
LEVEL
Correct article usage
the LEVEL
show examples
OF EADUCATION AND MEDICAL
FACILTIES
Correct your spelling
facilities
AND
Punctuation problem
, AND
show examples
MUCH MORE.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction needs to be clearer. You should restate the question more directly and express your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are organized. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and you should link your ideas more clearly to show the connections between them.
task achievement
Use specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
You show a strong personal opinion against long working hours, which is good. Your commitment to your viewpoint is clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: