Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is a view
athat
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that
young
age
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people
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should spend their time doing academic or school-related
project
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projects
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rather than other activities that
are
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do
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not support their formal education. I disagree with
this
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statement because,
albeit
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although
show examples
academic
knowledge
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is really important for their future, young
age
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people
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should
also
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be equiped
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equiped
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equipped
with other
skills
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that are
also
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useful. In
this
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modern day, formal education plays
important
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an important
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role in shaping our children. Parents feel obligated to submit their children
into
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to
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formal
education-institutions
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educational institutions
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and
hoping
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hope
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that their programs will improve the
knowledge
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of their children. Most of these schools have
tight
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a tight
show examples
and
pack
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packed
show examples
learning-agenda
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learning agenda
show examples
for the students that
are
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is
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designed to improve their
student’s
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students’
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knowledge
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.
For example
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, my son must arrive at least
at
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by
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7 am and he
study
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studies
show examples
at school until 3 pm. In that span of time, the teachers teach them about science, math and any other subjects to broaden their understanding of
specific
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a specific
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subject. In life, academic
knowledge
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is not the only thing
that is
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crucial. People
also
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need other
skills
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such
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, such
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as social
skills
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and creativity
to
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, to
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face
the
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apply
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future challenges. These
skills
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can be gained when the kids
playing
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play
show examples
and
havin
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have
social
interation
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interaction
with their environment.
For example
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, when kids do role play, they can improve their creativity and imagination.
To conclude
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, academic activities are important for
childrea
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children
, but they
also
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need to learn other
skills
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to improve their
knowledge
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that can be learned outside formal education.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Use phrases like 'I believe' or 'I think'.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'. This will make your writing more clear.
task achievement
Try to include more examples or explanations to support your ideas. This will help show your understanding better.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion about the importance of skills outside academic subjects.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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