IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is a view
athat
Correct your spelling
that
 young
age
Check wording
people
show examples
 should spend their time doing academic or school-related
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
 rather than other activities that
are
Verb problem
do
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 not support their formal education. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because,
albeit
Change preposition
although
show examples
 academic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is really important for their future, young
age
Check wording
people
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
Verb problem
be equiped
show examples
equiped
Correct your spelling
equipped
 with other
skills
Use synonyms
 that are
also
Linking Words
 useful. In
this
Linking Words
 modern day, formal education plays
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 role in shaping our children. Parents feel obligated to submit their children
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 formal
education-institutions
Use the right word
educational institutions
show examples
 and
hoping
Wrong verb form
hope
show examples
 that their programs will improve the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of their children. Most of these schools have
tight
Correct article usage
a tight
show examples
 and
pack
Replace the word
packed
show examples
learning-agenda
Use the right word
learning agenda
show examples
 for the students that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 designed to improve their
student’s
Check wording
students’
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my son must arrive at least
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 7 am and he
study
Correct subject-verb agreement
studies
show examples
 at school until 3 pm. In that span of time, the teachers teach them about science, math and any other subjects to broaden their understanding of
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 subject. In life, academic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is not the only thing
that is
Linking Words
 crucial. People
also
Linking Words
 need other
skills
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as social
skills
Use synonyms
 and creativity
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future challenges. These
skills
Use synonyms
 can be gained when the kids
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 and
havin
Correct your spelling
have
 social
interation
Correct your spelling
interaction
 with their environment.
For example
Linking Words
, when kids do role play, they can improve their creativity and imagination.
To conclude
Linking Words
, academic activities are important for
childrea
Correct your spelling
children
, but they
also
Linking Words
 need to learn other
skills
Use synonyms
 to improve their
knowledge
Use synonyms
 that can be learned outside formal education.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Use phrases like 'I believe' or 'I think'.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'. This will make your writing more clear.
task achievement
Try to include more examples or explanations to support your ideas. This will help show your understanding better.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion about the importance of skills outside academic subjects.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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