People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In
the
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apply
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modern
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times
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time
Add a comma
time,
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people
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often experience too much luxury
,
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;
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therefore
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, they start ignoring their body needs,
and
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which and
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causing
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lead
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their
Change preposition
to their
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own illnesses through unhealthy behaviours. Some
persons
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people
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think that
people
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who cause their own
sickning
Correct your spelling
sickness
should pay more for health care
, personally
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. Personally
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,
i
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I
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do not fully disagree. Indeed, individuals who do not care about their own health are in the wrong,
that is
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due to
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their reckless actions.
However
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, having individuals pay more for their health care would lead to the following problems
:
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:
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patients who caused their own illnesses would probably lie to their doctors about their own lifestyle
;
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,
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trying to avoid the extra costs,
therefore
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, causing wrong
diagnosis
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diagnoses
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. Another reason is sick
people
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who try to avoid going to hospitals, and ignore their
symptons
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symptoms
;
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,
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fearing they would have to pay more.
Although
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,
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apply
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the idea could
made
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make
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some trouble, it still has some benefits too,
such
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as
:
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apply
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Encouraging
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encouraging
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more
people
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to stop unhealthy
beahviours
Correct your spelling
behaviours
, citizens start working out, and
commoning
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consuming
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healthy food and diets.
Nevertheless
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, the parents who will establish
healthy
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a healthy
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lifestyle for their kids. But is that enough to start
puting
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putting
people
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's
life
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lives
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in danger? In my opinion,
i
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I
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think
this
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protocol has more
fllaws
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flaws
than benefits
,
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;
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therefore
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,
i
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I
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disagree. In conclusion, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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people
Use synonyms
often experience too much luxury,
therefore
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,
establsih
Correct your spelling
establish
certain unhealthy behaviours. Some
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
think that
people
Use synonyms
who cause their own illnesses should pay more.
Although
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i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
do not fully disagree, having them pay more would lead to some trouble, but
also
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could have some benefits too.

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structure
Be clear about your view. State if you agree or disagree in the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence
Use one idea per paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
language
Use simple words, short sentences, and check spelling and grammar.
content
You show the topic and try to give reasons.
coherence
You use linking words to show contrast (but, however).

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • burden
  • lifestyle-related diseases
  • healthcare systems
  • personal responsibility
  • preventable diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • ethical considerations
  • penalizing
  • discrimination
  • socio-economic groups
  • deterrent
  • health education
  • financial penalties
  • health inequalities
  • access to healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health goals
  • promoting healthy lifestyles
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