IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of prgress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Economic
growth
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 has become a major concern for many governments.
Consequently
Linking Words
, opinions are divided over whether prioritising economic
growth
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 should take precedence over other
sectors
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. I believe that generating sufficient financial resources is essential, as it enables countries to invest and expand in other areas as well. On one hand, some people argue that governments should focus on
sectors
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such
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 as
education
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 and
healthcare
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 to ensure a better future for the nation. There is no denying that well-educated citizens contribute significantly to various aspects of
development
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.
In addition
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 to
education
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,
healthcare
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 is another crucial area for national progress. If a country’s
healthcare
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 system is advanced, it improves the well-being of citizens.
For example
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, nations like Japan invest heavily in
healthcare
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 and
education
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 alongside fostering economic
development
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.
On the other hand
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, many believe that economic
growth
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 should be the primary goal for leaders, as it can help countries escape severe debt. It is an irrefutable fact that several nations owe billions of dollars to international financial institutions
such
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 as the World Bank, costing them millions in interest annually.
Therefore
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, achieving economic stability should be prioritised before launching large-scale
development
Use synonyms
 projects in other
sectors
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. From my perspective, economic
growth
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 is more important because governments can only focus on areas
such
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 as
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
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 if they have the necessary funds. History shows that many economic superpowers first established strong financial systems before moving on to large-scale social investments in health and
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
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 there is ongoing debate over whether economic
growth
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 should be given equal priority to other
sectors
Use synonyms
, I support prioritising economic
development
Use synonyms
. Without strong financial stability, it is nearly impossible to make substantial progress in other areas of national importance.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Make a short plan with two views and your view.
content
Give more detail for each idea and add more clear examples.
language
Use a bit more link words to show how ideas fit with each other.
content
You show a clear view from the start and give reasons.
structure
Two sides are shown and a clear view is given at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic progress
  • important goal
  • wealth
  • job creation
  • living standards
  • poverty
  • quality of life
  • education
  • health care
  • environment
  • social progress
  • cultural progress
  • equality
  • cultural heritage
  • political stability
  • freedom
  • citizen participation
  • engaged
  • happy society
  • improve
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