IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960
The data demonstrates the proportion of visitors to England who attended four different entertainment facilities (
Art
Use synonyms
gallery
Use synonyms
,Pavilion,Pier,Festival)which are located in Brighton.
Overall
Linking Words
,the pavilion remained the most preferred among participants throughout the period,despite fluctuations.
In contrast
Linking Words
,the
Art
Use synonyms
Gallery
Use synonyms
 experienced a notable decline after an initial increase.
How we
Rephrase
We
show examples
 can notice,a lot of people chose
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
 as the best attraction
,between
Punctuation problem
. Between
show examples
 1980 and
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
show examples
 the percentage of tourists rose sharply from 22% to 50 %.
However
Linking Words
, after 1995,the proportion declined significantly,
although
Linking Words
 it remained higher than other attractions by 2010.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Use synonyms
Gallery
Punctuation problem
Gallery,
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 there was a
dramatically
Replace the word
dramatic
show examples
 went
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
and
down
Fix the agreement mistake
decrease in
show examples
 the proportion of guests who
toured
Verb problem
visited
show examples
Use synonyms
Art
Correct article usage
the Art
show examples
Gallery
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 1990,and
then
Linking Words
 the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 decreased
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 from 28% to 9%. The percentage of individuals who visited
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
show examples
 stayed the same with a slight change of 5% during the 1980s and 1995s,
by as
Change preposition
in
show examples
contrast
Punctuation problem
contrast,
show examples
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
considerably
Replace the word
considerable
show examples
 fluctuations and changes in Pier,his
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
highest
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
point
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in 2010 it
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 20%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words art, gallery with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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