IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads to what extent do you agree or disagree

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
state
Correct word choice
that state
show examples
 authorities
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 far as they can
see
Punctuation problem
see,
show examples
 should distribute and invest financial resources
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
railway
Use synonyms
 networks. Now people are beginning to realise that
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 system is not essential
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
show examples
 than
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 system.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both statements
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 personally, I tend to think that disagree extent is more viable .
Firstly
Linking Words
, it
it
Use the right word
is
show examples
 well known that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 take taxes from
media-driven
Correct article usage
the media-driven
show examples
 world for
railway
Use synonyms
 transport. What I mean
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here is that state apparatus
care
Correct subject-verb agreement
cares
show examples
 about
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
show examples
 of people when they check out tickets for
rail
Correct article usage
a rail
show examples
 trip , because it is
low-cost
Replace the word
less costly
show examples
 than air transport infrastructure. A good case in point is in Japan the political administrations spend an enormous amount of finance on
railway
Use synonyms
 infrastructure,because safety,cozy and
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level of transport is proficient and crucial for
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
.
On the other hand
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 , it can
also
Linking Words
 be argued that
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 is
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 structure for
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and
it haven’t
Correct word order
itn’t have
show examples
 to be with potholes , because
always
Rephrase
apply
show examples
have citizens
Correct word order
citizens have
show examples
 been paid taxes for
straight
Correct word choice
a smooth
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 surface .
That is
Linking Words
 to
say
Punctuation problem
say,
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 nowadays in our society
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in metropolitan
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 is a lot rather than
railway
Use synonyms
 network
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. Except
rail
Change preposition
for rail
show examples
 trips , humanity
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to use vehicles for driving on the
road
Use synonyms
. It is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
adorable
Use the right word
affordable
show examples
 budget . Take
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 Kazakhstan . In
this
Linking Words
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 uneven
road
Use synonyms
 surface is not
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 for drivers on any vehicle’s tires . Political authority must spend a large amount of money on
road
Use synonyms
 maintenance. In conclusion, final analysis we can say that vehicle
using
Replace the word
usage
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot in our sociocultural
frame-work
Use the right word
framework
show examples
 rather than
railway
Use synonyms
 infrastructure and public apparatus have to spend capital on vehicular transportation routes .

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clarity
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and keep it in the conclusion.
language
Use short and simple sentences. Check the use of periods and commas.
content
Give strong reasons and keep them tied to the main idea.
examples
Give one good example that directly backs your point.
structure
There is a plan to show both sides.
content
Some real place names are used as examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: