IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is the residents that are responsible for the cleaning and tidying the streets while others believe that it is the responsibility of governmnt. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Many individuals argue that
citizens
Use synonyms
 are responsible for the cleaning
process
Use synonyms
 of the street,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that it is the
government
Use synonyms
's responsibility to clean .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and share my opinion that agrees with the first opinion to some degree. On the one hand,many argue that
citizens
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for cleaning because they are available throughout the country.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent study conducted by researchers created a simulator for a situation where residents took the role of cleaners , and researchers found out that it is 9 times more effective and faster.
Citizens
Use synonyms
 are present everywhere;
therefore
Linking Words
, they should be in charge of the cleaning
process
Use synonyms
 as they can clean quickly and effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , some people argue that the
government
Use synonyms
 is a better option to take responsibility for the city's maintenance.
For example
Linking Words
, some cities in India have a huge amount of trash nearby ,
as a result
Linking Words
, they are more likely to get cancer. That's why the
government
Use synonyms
 is a good option,
Since
Fix capitalization
since
show examples
 they have the needed money to recruit experts who can deal with dangerous chemicals. These chemicals can cause dangerous effects for normal
citizens
Use synonyms
, that why the
government
Use synonyms
 should operate the cleaning
process
Use synonyms
 . In conclusion, there are some people who believe that the
process
Use synonyms
 of cleaning is the responsibility of residents, since they present in every place, so they are responsible for the cleaning
process
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that the
government
Use synonyms
 is more qualified for
this
Linking Words
 job because they have the needed budget to recruit experts, that can deal with the chemical waste, which can be harmful to the normal people.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that
citizens
Use synonyms
 are a more effective option in general places; they have the numbers and strength to carry out the
process
Use synonyms
 of cleaning , but near the industrial areas, there should be a selected group for the tidying
process
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response strength
Your answer shows you know both sides and give your own view.
task response guidance
State your opinion clearly and keep it in the last paragraph, then refer to it in the body.
coherence structure
Paragraphs should have one main idea and a clear link to the next idea.
coherence linking
Use simple linking words to show how ideas unfold.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Many sentences are long and have errors that slow reading.
vocabulary
Use common words and keep phrases short. Rely on clear, easy words.
task response strength
The essay presents both views.
structure strength
Introduction and conclusion are present.
language use strength
Some examples are given to support ideas.
opinion strength
The writer shows effort to give a personal view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: