IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many countries today are expecting high level of migration from rural area to cities what are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on the existing city dwellers?

Now a days
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
,
majority of the
Correct word order
the majority of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are transfer
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 urban
areas
Use synonyms
. A plethora of masses migrate to big cities
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of reasons
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 lack of
education
Use synonyms
, lower
unempolyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
,
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 transport
facilities
Use synonyms
, climate
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and so on.
Besides
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 the
non rural
Use the right word
non-rural
show examples
 citizens face numerous obstacles
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pertaining
enhancement
Check wording
to enhancing
show examples
 locals in urban
areas
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will highlight the causes and impact of flight in upcoming fragments with
supported
Correct article usage
a supported
show examples
 solution.
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
modernization
Use the right word
modernisation
show examples
, folks are moving to big and
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 cities
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment and higher
education
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big reason to proceed.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rural
areas
Use synonyms
 possess the slower growth of
economical
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and excellent
education
Use synonyms
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 these
areas
Use synonyms
 are touches
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote locations,
along with
Linking Words
 devoid of fundamental
and
Check wording
resources and
show examples
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
circumstances of relocation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, lack of power supply
facilities
Use synonyms
, health care
facilities
Use synonyms
 in terms of
high performance
Use the right word
high-performance
show examples
 laboratories and hospitals, vague transportation system are the main hurdles for netizens to
obtain
Verb problem
access
show examples
 in rural
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
. Henceforth, there are various
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind proper development in urban sites.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 better
facilities
Use synonyms
 in big cities,
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
show examples
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 face numerous hurdles
such
Linking Words
 as
over populations
Use the right word
overpopulation
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
nevertheless
Linking Words
, with
this
Linking Words
 issue,
people
Use synonyms
 do not feel comfortable in huge
areas
Use synonyms
 because of
ample
Correct word choice
the large number
show examples
 of individuals suffering from various diseases in terms of heart problems, obesity, noise pollution and others.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
set
Verb problem
have
show examples
inferior
Correct article usage
an inferior
show examples
 effect on
Correct article usage
the atmoshphere
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atmoshphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
. Where the pollution
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 inclined in the environment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, residing
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
hugh
Correct your spelling
large
areas
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
surge
Correct subject-verb agreement
surges
show examples
 the rates of accommodations and as well as
effect
Use the right word
affects
show examples
 the economic factors. In conclusion, it is obvious that unemployment and
education
Use synonyms
causes
Replace the word
cause
show examples
 the major issues in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 where proper infrastructure, laws
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 governance
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to be implemented.
While
Linking Words
 for rural
areas
Use synonyms
,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of better facilitation
there
Punctuation problem
, there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some extraordinary
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
development plans
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
further
Linking Words
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 the countries to grow healthy and wise.

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planning
Plan before you write. Say what you will talk about, list causes, then effects, and finish with a short end.
structure
Make a clear idea in each paragraph. Use one main idea per paragraph and link them with simple words.
language
Use short, common words. Check how you spell and form your sentences.
content
The topic is clear and you talk about both causes and effects.
style
You show some view of how life in towns may be more and the problems it brings.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • move
  • people
  • city
  • country
  • farm
  • job
  • work
  • pay
  • income
  • school
  • education
  • health
  • hospital
  • shop
  • market
  • house
  • home
  • rent
  • crowd
  • housing
  • traffic
  • noise
  • air
  • water
  • weather
  • farm
  • land
  • family
  • friend
  • plan
  • grow
  • city growth
  • opportunity
  • reason
  • effect
  • cause
  • policy
  • government
  • service
  • business
  • diversity
  • community
  • transport
What to do next:
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