IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the rise of technology in education has improved learning outcomes for students. Others argue that technology can be a distraction and negatively impact

Recently, it has been universally believed that
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rise
Correct article usage
the rise
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 of
technology
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 in
education
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 has long been gaining popularity at an incredible rate. Some people state that
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rise
Correct article usage
the rise
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 of
technology
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 in
education
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 brings the world many benefits,
while
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 many others argue that its drawbacks should not be ignored, as the effects of
this
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 matter could influence everyone's life.
This
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 essay will discuss the topic mentioned above, giving some reasons why
this
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 has occurred and examining the consequences of
this
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 worrying trend. Those who oppose the
rise
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 of
technology
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 in
education
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 claim that, over the
last
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 decade, there has been a prolific increase in the number of instances of the
rise
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 of
technology
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 in
education
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 leading to illnesses and diseases. Another main and serious issue is time and money.
On the other hand
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, the solution to the problems mentioned above is far-reaching. Meanwhile,
education
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claim
Correct subject-verb agreement
claims
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 that the
rise
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 of
technology
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 in
education
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 brings significant benefits to a country since it plays a very useful role in the field of
education
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 in general, enriching people's knowledge and giving them the freedom to take action on anything they believe is correct for the country or state.
Furthermore
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, the
rise
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 of
technology
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 in
education
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 has many positive aspects, not only for individuals and families but
also
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 for the whole society; students can do research using online resources
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Finally
Punctuation problem
. Finally
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, the
rise
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 of
technology
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 in
education
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 has many advantages, playing a crucial role
improving
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in improving
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 many sectors in the state or country.
Also
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, it pushes the stability of the whole world forward. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 both sides of the argument have their merits.
However
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, everything in life has pros and cons.
Thus
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, people should determine which way to choose.

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task
Make your view clear in the last paragraph and stay with it throughout.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas and make the flow smooth.
content
Give real and simple examples to back up each point.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides.
coherence
Some linking words are used.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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