IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the amount of moeny per week spent on fast foods in Britain.

the chart below shows the amount of moeny per week spent on fast foods in Britain.
The bar graph presents the total weekly expenditure of the British people under three different income brackets on hamburgers,
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
, and
pizza
Use synonyms
 from 1970 to 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, the high- and average-income groups spent the most on hamburgers, whilst low-wage earners spent the most on
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
pizza
Use synonyms
 was the least bought junk food for the average and low-income groups
compared
Punctuation problem
, compared
show examples
 to
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 for those who have high salaries. Regarding the spending allocation, the high-income group bought above 40
pence
Use synonyms
 of
hamburger
Correct article usage
a hamburger
show examples
 per week,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 and
pizza
Use synonyms
,
only
Correct pronoun usage
which only
show examples
having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 roughly 17
pence
Use synonyms
 and 19
pence
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
hamburger
Correct article usage
a hamburger
show examples
 was the major junk food consumed by the average earners, accounting for at least 32
pence
Use synonyms
 per week, whilst only around 12
pence
Use synonyms
 was spent on
pizza
Use synonyms
. The low-income group spent the least among the three, having an expenditure
only
Change preposition
of only
show examples
 below 20
pence
Use synonyms
 per week. The
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 (around 17
pence
Use synonyms
) recorded the highest consumption,
while
Linking Words
pizza
Use synonyms
 (around 12
pence
Use synonyms
) was the least consumed.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, chips, pizza, pence with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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