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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given charts describe responses of undergraduate and postgraduate students to a questionnaire about a university library. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The given pie charts illustrate the results of the survey about a university
library
Use synonyms
, showing responses from both undergraduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 both groups were generally satisfied by the diversity of
books
Use synonyms
 and non-printed learning resources available in the
library
Use synonyms
. Over
half
Use synonyms
per
Correct article usage
a per
show examples
 cent of postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 rated the range of
books
Use synonyms
 as "very good" ,
while
Linking Words
 12% of them described it as "very bad". Meanwhile, 33% of
this
Linking Words
 group of
students
Use synonyms
 were satisfied with the variety of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 in the university
library
Use synonyms
. In contrast,
half
Use synonyms
 of the undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 reported being satisfied with the range of
books
Use synonyms
 provided by the university
library
Use synonyms
. The remaining
half
Use synonyms
 of undergraduates were split between describing the range as "very good" by 28% and "very bad" by 22%, respectively. Regarding non-printed resources
such
Linking Words
 as CDs and DVDs, nearly
half
Use synonyms
 of postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 were satisfied with
this
Linking Words
category
Punctuation problem
category,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 only a quarter of undergraduates were satisfied.
However
Linking Words
, over
half
Use synonyms
 per cent (52%) of undergraduates rated
this
Linking Words
 category as very good ,
while
Linking Words
(
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 23%
)
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 of them described it as very bad.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, students, books, half with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "described" was used 2 times.
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