IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of prgress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people are of the opinion that the most critical aim for many governments is the economic
progress
Use synonyms
 of their nations. In
contarst
Correct your spelling
contrast
, others are convinced that there are different varieties of
progress
Use synonyms
 that have the same level of importance. On the one hand, some argue that the economic development of countries is part and parcel of their sustainability. Having
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 economy with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 GDP, nations attract other countries, leading to their collaboration and investments.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, will create multiple new working places for the inhabitants,
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
 will increase their standards of living.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
such
Linking Words
 circumstances, authorities will have enough opportunities to allocate money for developing the other areas
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are extremely important for the population,
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare and education.
Hence
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, if governments make much effort for their countries' economic
progress
Use synonyms
, it will pave the way for their
citizen's
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citizens'
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 sustainable lives.
However
Linking Words
, I take the view that environmental
progress
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 is equally important. In the era of global warming,
this
Linking Words
 matter cannot be neglected.
This
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 is because the frequency of natural disasters across the globe has increased significantly, being a serious threat
for
Change preposition
to
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 the world population's
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
.
For example
Linking Words
, one tsunami or earthquake can destroy a large number of cities or towns in a short period of time, which will make these areas uninhabitable.
As a result
Linking Words
, all the governmental programs dedicated to their
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 development will not be helpful in these situations.
This
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 means that, in addition to their industrial
progress
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, the authorities should work hard on a course of action regarding
this
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 serious issue in order to overcome it. In conclusion, I am convinced that despite the fact that economic development is vital for each country, its
envinronmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
progress
Use synonyms
 is not less important.

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task response
Your essay does answer the task by giving views and your own idea. To raise the score, say your main position clearly in the first paragraph and keep your plan simple so the reader can follow each idea easily.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with clear and short phrases. Use simple connectors like First, Next, Also, However, On the other hand, In conclusion. Keep sentences short and clear.
content
You show both sides and you give your own view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic progress
  • important goal
  • wealth
  • job creation
  • living standards
  • poverty
  • quality of life
  • education
  • health care
  • environment
  • social progress
  • cultural progress
  • equality
  • cultural heritage
  • political stability
  • freedom
  • citizen participation
  • engaged
  • happy society
  • improve
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