IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This, they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

There is a controversial debate on job satisfaction causes, and whether choosing
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
'
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
tract
Use the right word
track
show examples
 earlier in life will
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 that
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
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 my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 I strongly believe that focusing on your
tract
Use the right word
track
show examples
 before
start
Replace the word
starting
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 walking will take you to the right place, which
based
Verb problem
is based
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 mainly on
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 talent, skills
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
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 support.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other factors contributed to job satisfaction
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 salary with flexible working hours,
supportive
Correct article usage
a supportive
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 team and professional development opportunities. On the one hand, some children are gifted since birth.
may be
Use the right word
Maybe
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 they have fascinating voices ,handwriting or drawings
, when
Punctuation problem
. When
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 their
parents
Use synonyms
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
their skills and
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encourage
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 them,
this
Linking Words
 will help to
draw
Verb problem
shape
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 their future
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 they will become singers, artists, civil engineers or designers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
parents
Use synonyms
 act as
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 first role model
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
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 one of the
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 is a doctor, helping people all the time, the
son
Check wording
child
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 will
develops
Wrong verb form
develop
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 the desire to be the same in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many causes
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 influence Job reparation,
for instance
Linking Words
, high salary, flexible working hours and
profession
Replace the word
professional
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 & development
opportunitinites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
, people
Punctuation problem
. People
show examples
 will be happier if
They
Fix capitalization
they
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 can be able to get experience and grow in
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 planning
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
tract
Use the right word
track
show examples
 when young, based on skills and
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
encouragement
Punctuation problem
encouragement,
show examples
 will clearly affect work contentment later,
besides
Linking Words
 many elements,
such
Linking Words
 as
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
financial status,
suitable
Correct article usage
a suitable
show examples
 work atmosphere and continuous training.

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grammar
Fix major grammar errors and spelling. Use plain, simple forms.
structure
Make the idea in each part clear. One big idea per paragraph works best.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go from one to next, and keep sentences short.
word-choice
Choose the right words. A few wrong words can make your meaning hard to see.
content
Give a clear example and explain it in a simple way.
scope
The writer tries to show both a plan now and other things that can help.
structure
There is an introduction, body and conclusion.
content
Some examples are used to show possible outcomes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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