IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people eho decides to do this

A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
12th grade
Use the right word
12th-grade
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who are going to
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
 their
highschool
Use the right word
high school
show examples
year
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tend to
do travelling
Verb problem
travel
show examples
, work, or even just a
short term
Use the right word
short-term
show examples
 vacation
in particular
Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
, especially in
europe
Fix capitalization
Europe
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
united
Fix capitalization
United
show examples
state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
. There are many different background reasons
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 above
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some
students
Use synonyms
 might go for work to
make
Verb problem
get
show examples
 a quick picture
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Correct article usage
the occupation
show examples
occupation
Replace the word
occupational
show examples
 world,
thus
Linking Words
 they won't be shocked in the future
while
Linking Words
 working.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, a big part of the 3rd
year
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 took
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 opposite path
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
firts
Correct your spelling
first
 one, they
pick
Verb problem
chose
show examples
 to visit some
countries
Use synonyms
they've been
Wrong verb form
they had
show examples
 desired
for
Verb problem
to visit
show examples
.
It
Verb problem
It's
show examples
just not
Correct word order
not just
show examples
 about
holiday
Correct article usage
the holiday
show examples
, they
traveled
Use the right word
travelled
show examples
 to
relief
Replace the word
relieve
show examples
 themself and
ensuring
Wrong verb form
ensure
show examples
 they are ready for uni studies. Speaking about both
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
,
writer's
Correct article usage
the writer's
show examples
 own
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
perspective
forr
Correct your spelling
for
 each of them.
First,
Linking Words
if they start working
while
Linking Words
 finishing their
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 of
highschool
Use the right word
high school
show examples
, which would be the most
stressed
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 for
bunch
Correct article usage
a bunch
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
, they will not
focusing them self
Replace the word
focus on themselves
show examples
 about the exam waiting towards them. They had to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 between school stuff
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 work
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
, so
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they have to be great time management person to catch up
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
responsible
Replace the word
responsibilities
show examples
. Being a
part time
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
also
Linking Words
 has some positive
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
, like they will make their own money
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they will be more independent and not depend on their parents.
Traveling
Use the right word
Travelling
show examples
 is a really
enjoying
Replace the word
enjoyable
show examples
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
, so people will make their
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 of senior high a very long trip to any
Use synonyms
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 they want
, for
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 those who really like nature, they'll be visiting tropical
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
indonesia
Fix capitalization
Indonesia
show examples
,
brazil
Fix capitalization
Brazil
show examples
,
panama
Fix capitalization
Panama
show examples
, and many more. The trip will
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 courage of their self to face
university phase the
Correct word order
the university phase
show examples
 next
year
Use synonyms
. Just like a coin,
this
Linking Words
 problem
also
Linking Words
 has two sides of perspective, a long time trip could easily make them high, what it means is they would
forgot
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
 anything about education. People would not practice any skills needed for school and would make them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
students
Use synonyms
 afterwards. In conclusion, both problem has some
variaty
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and opposite. What
can we
Correct word order
we can
show examples
 do is take our
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 and
Verb problem
be rsponsible
show examples
rsponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for it, don't make any excuses
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a thing we soberly choose. None of them are bad
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 we just have to see the good in the bad

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structure
Start with a short intro that clearly states the topic and your view. End with a clear conclusion.
coherence
Organize your text in two or three clear parts: working, travelling, and a short verdict. Use linking words to connect ideas.
grammar
Make simple sentences. Check grammar like 'they are' not 'they's'. Use correct tense.
examples
Give one or two clear examples for each idea. Do not flood with many long words.
style
Keep a steady tone and avoid long runs of words. Use full stops to end sentences.
content
The essay shows the idea of two sides: work and travel, which is on topic.
structure
There is some attempt to discuss both sides, which is good for Task Response.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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