IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nations should spend more money on skills and vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use synonyms
Correct article usage
An Education
show examples
Education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 background has always been considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the most influential aspects
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 one’s career path. Some believe that it is necessary for countries to invest in
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 others argue that vocational training courses
should
Correct word order
Money should
show examples
 be spent
money
Correct word order
apply
show examples
on
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practical skills. I strongly believe that investing in
vocational
Fix capitalization
Vocational
show examples
 training courses would be more beneficial.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
this
Linking Words
 view. There is an undeniable fact that
university
Use synonyms
 programs would offer plenty of opportunities after graduation.
This
Linking Words
 is because people can get access to in-depth knowledge and broaden their horizons in various academic fields
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as teachers, social studies and economics.
However
Linking Words
, only focusing on these academic fields would create a stigma that students who enter
university
Use synonyms
 would receive more privileges than
the ones
Use the right word
those
show examples
 who
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
 to
reach
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, there may be more unemployed youngsters who
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
live totally based on the support from the government. Investing in
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 would be beneficial as well, but
this
Linking Words
 would put more emphasis on financial burdens
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 families who cannot afford
their
Verb problem
to send their
show examples
 children to
enter
Verb problem
apply
show examples
higher
education
Use synonyms
 would be less respected in society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, focusing on practical training would give these individuals a chance to give their lives another try to strive for their future. In conclusion, I enthusiastically go for the idea that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend more money on vocational training because it will create more social
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 in the society.

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task response
Your view is clear. Add more depth to the main idea and give real, simple examples to support it.
coherence
Link ideas in a smooth way. Use one idea per paragraph and tie it to your overall point with simple words like 'also', 'so', 'therefore'.
structure
Clear position on the issue.
structure
Intro and conclusion present.
cohesion
Some linking words are used.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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