Many countries are making remote historical sites more accessible to tourists in ways such as building roads for buses or installing cable cars.

Nowdays
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Nowadays
show examples
, countries are
faciliting
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facilitating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
toursim
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tourism
at
remot
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remote
locations by enhancing infrastructure
such
Linking Words
as building roads or
deploye
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deploying
cables
Fix the agreement mistake
cable
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cars
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such
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in such
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locations. In my opinion,
although
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this
Linking Words
type of change will boost the
loacal
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local
economy, it does so at the expense of the indigenous culture. Having better access to
remot
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remote
cultural
aeras
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areas
would certainly increase the number of tourists, who will spend money in the
loacl
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local
economy. To be specific, tourists
wolud
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would
pay for meals , guide services
ans
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and
souvenirs,
incresing
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increasing
the employment
prosoects
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prospects
around the
histrical
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historical
sits
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sites
show examples
. Another reason that having better roads would be
benficial
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beneficial
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that is
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is that
show examples
the locals
to
Verb problem
apply
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could easily reach
to
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apply
show examples
schools, hospitals and other essential social services.
Hence
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, the trend of creating new roads to reach
to
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apply
show examples
cultural
aeras
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areas
is
certanily benficial
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certainly beneficial
as it can
rais
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raise
show examples
the locals' standard of living.
However
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, there is a potential disadvantage in that the site could be permanently damaged.
For example
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, I have heard that many
remot
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remote
sites in Alula have little
protaction
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protection
, so increasing access would put
put
Verb problem
apply
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these locations and
loacl
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local
cultural at risk.
While
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building
infrastructre
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
would
certanily
Correct your spelling
certainly
increase the money and improve the local economy, there are
also
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many considerable drawbacks in that the site and
cultre
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culture
could be
jeopardized
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jeopardised
show examples
.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that the
disadvatage outweight
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disadvantages outweigh
the advantages.

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language
Spelling and grammar have many mistakes. Check words like remote, areas, local, resources. Fix errors to make sense clearer.
coherence
Make a clear topic sentence for each paragraph. Use linking words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'therefore' to connect ideas.
content
Give one or two strong examples and explain how they help your point.
lexical
Use simple and correct word form. Do not mix up words. Keep a steady style.
task response
The essay shows an idea to talk about both sides and a view at the end.
organization
There is an intro and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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