IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a [huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree

In
this
Linking Words
 advanced era,
telecommunication
Correct article usage
the telecommunication
show examples
 process
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 grown unbreakably.
Due to
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 it, the
utilization
Use the right word
utilisation
show examples
 of these electronic applications is
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 by many families.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 notion narrates the same thing that people
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend most of their time on these apps. As it has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact on our nation. Moving
forwards
Replace the word
forward
show examples
 with the point
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 indicates its drawback. The detrimental reason is that folks are becoming lethargic and go
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
 unlimited
health related
Use the right word
health-related
show examples
 severe diseases
such
Linking Words
 as full body
ache
Fix the agreement mistake
aches
show examples
, low
eye sight
Use the right word
eyesight
show examples
, migraine and many more.
For instance
Linking Words
: in 2019, when I was in India. There was
girl
Correct article usage
a girl
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who used to play games and operate newly invented apps
such
Linking Words
 as Twitter and Facebook. She had been spending 7 to 8 hours on
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
show examples
.
As a result
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,
now
Correct word order
apply
show examples
her health is
very
Correct word order
now very
show examples
 critical. She
barely can
Correct word order
can barely
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 see
inhabitants
Correct article usage
the inhabitants
show examples
 around her, even though her full body
got
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
paralised
Correct your spelling
paralysed
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, scholars
fristly
Correct your spelling
first
 demand
to
Change preposition
that
show examples
 their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
buy a telephone, because they want to do their educational projects.
However
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, as far as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they understand their features and websites. They start using it for their entertainment. After
sometimes
Use the right word
some time
show examples
, it totally
divert
Correct subject-verb agreement
diverts
show examples
 their mind
to not to do study
Verb problem
from studying
show examples
 and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 superior grades.
For Instance
Linking Words
:
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 Canada, pupils who use these devices for the sake of their
enjoyment
Correct word choice
own enjoyment
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 are forcing other students to stop concentrating on their
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
. Even, they insist
them
Change preposition
on them
show examples
to watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 nude
vedios
Correct your spelling
videos
. which directly has a negative point for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To sum up
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, we know that these
technologioes
Correct your spelling
technologies
 have changed our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, but some are using them in excess.
Thus
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,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
 should reduce their time to use mobile phones,
otherwise
Linking Words
 it can become a curse for them
instead
Linking Words
 of giving them results in a good way.

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task response
State your view clearly in the introduction and give your main reasons in a logical order.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea with a clear topic sentence.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas connect (for example: first, then, also, but).
evidence
Give more real and clear examples to back your points.
content
The essay shows a clear view that social media has negative effects.
content
The writer tries to use examples from life.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media
  • impact
  • negative
  • individuals
  • society
  • loneliness
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • cyberbullying
  • emotional harm
  • mental health
  • information
  • misunderstandings
  • trust
  • connection
  • privacy
  • personal data
  • misuse
  • communication
  • interactions
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