IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Because some
criminals
Use synonyms
 have a low level of
education
Use synonyms
, some people argue that the best choice for
criminals
Use synonyms
 is to attain
education
Use synonyms
 in prison, so that
this
Linking Words
 way can help
criminals
Use synonyms
 to obtain career opportunities when they leave prison. From my perspective, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, as
education
Use synonyms
 is significant for individuals. Providing
education
Use synonyms
 for
criminals
Use synonyms
 can help them manage some basic skills and regulate their behavioural norms at the same time.
Education
Use synonyms
 can allow
criminals
Use synonyms
 to return to society when they acquire knowledge, enabling them to find jobs which are simple to operate, gain stable incomes that they can support their essential needs, and ease the possibility of continuing crimes in the future. Only in
this
Linking Words
 way can society become more secure and provide a positive environment for the residents. A number of individuals have a bias against
criminals
Use synonyms
, and they believe that providing
education
Use synonyms
 to them is a waste of money and time. The
criminals
Use synonyms
 can not switch their norms in the short term.
However
Linking Words
, some
criminals
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robbers
show examples
 and
steal
Check wording
thieves
show examples
, should have the opportunity to correct their
behaviors
Use the right word
behaviours
show examples
 and be forgiven by the citizens.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
criminals
Use synonyms
 are still young
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 cannot rely on their parents anytime after leaving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison in the future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, attaining
education
Use synonyms
 and gaining living abilities are important for them to maintain their lives. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the motivations of
criminals
Use synonyms
 are against the moral standards, they should be allowed to acquire knowledge and find steady jobs, in order to avoid them continuing crimes in their
Linking Words
further
Correct word choice
future
show examples
 lives.

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task response
Make your main view clear in the first sentence. Use one clear idea in each paragraph and give a brief example to back it up.
coherence
Use simple links to show how ideas connect (for example, 'first', 'then', 'also', 'but'). Have a short topic sentence in each paragraph.
grammar
Check grammar and form. Watch subject-verb match and tense. Break long sentences into shorter ones.
lexical resource
Use simple and exact wording. Do not repeat ideas. Try to add one real example of a crime and how education can help.
content
You show a clear view that education can help criminals.
structure
You give a plan on how education can lead to jobs and less crime.
argument
You discuss why some people may not like this idea and why it is fair to give a chance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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