IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are moving to big cities these days. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city.

In the contemporary world, migrating to large
cities
Use synonyms
 has become more prevalent than it used to be. From my vantage point,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon can bring about some indisputable merits, they are not enough to justify the drawbacks. To commence with the advantages, many large
cities
Use synonyms
 are considered as economic hubs of the country and they feature many industries, which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offer a wide range of careers.
As a result
Linking Words
, many rural
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live in metropolises to become closer to industrial amenities and take advantage of them. Another benefit is that
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in
cities
Use synonyms
 have access to various facilities and services, like hospitals, schools, universities and shopping malls. These kinds of amenities make
life
Use synonyms
 much easier, and motivate rural residents to leave their countryside and start a new
life
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
. Turning to the disadvantages, even though living in
cities
Use synonyms
 sounds attractive because of
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
reseons
Correct your spelling
reasons
, it has some challenges. In recent years, large
cities
Use synonyms
 have become more congested and polluted,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has caused many health problems
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
consequently
Linking Words
, the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 has declined. Another downside is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 rising trend can have detrimental effects on
cultural
Correct article usage
the cultural
show examples
 diversity of countries. When
people
Use synonyms
 leave their
birth place
Use the right word
birthplace
show examples
, they gradually forget their traditions because of their new lifestyle, and
as a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 precious cultural heritage will be destroyed over time. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 migration to
cities
Use synonyms
 is of undeniable benefits, I would argue that it can have detrimental effects on the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 and culture. In my opinion, governments should come up with permanent solutions,
such
Linking Words
 as improvement in the services and facilities of rural areas and supporting local industries to encourage
people
Use synonyms
stay
Verb problem
to stay
show examples
 in their
home place
Check wording
hometown
show examples
.

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structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that says the main idea.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling, and use short, simple sentences where possible.
content
Give more exact examples with numbers or well-known places to support ideas.
content
Make both sides equal in depth, and add a short counter view.
structure
Clear plan with a beginning, middle, and end.
language
Good use of linking words to move from one idea to the next.
content
The topic stays on track and you discuss both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cost of living
  • public transportation
  • pollution
  • congestion
  • social isolation
  • cultural amenities
  • job market
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • crime rate
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