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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the average number of hours students in five different universities studied. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart gives a breakdown of the average number of
hours
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 in five different
universities
Use synonyms
 studied.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 most of the study time on
weekdays
Use synonyms
 was spent by college
C
Use synonyms
, on weekends,
university
Use synonyms
 A showed clear and consistent dominance over the others.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 almost all
students
Use synonyms
 from different
universities
Use synonyms
 spend between 9 to 11
hours
Use synonyms
 for their study
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
weekdays
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the highest amount of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on education was in
university
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 , which is 10.6
hours
Use synonyms
 on
weekdays
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 from
university
Use synonyms
 A overtook those from
university
Use synonyms
C
Use synonyms
 by 9
hours
Use synonyms
 on
weekdays
Use synonyms
. The huge difference can be seen in
university
Use synonyms
 D and E
students
Use synonyms
 compared
Use synonyms
weekdays
Change preposition
on weekdays
show examples
 and weekends. The
hours
Use synonyms
 that was spent on education reduced from 9.6 to 5.6 and from 10 to 6.2 , respectively, which is the lowest among all
universities
Use synonyms
 on weekends. Academy
C
Use synonyms
 and E had the average attendance among the five
universities
Use synonyms
 (7.8 and 6.2)

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, students, universities, weekdays, c, university with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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