IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think technological development can reduce crime, while others think it would encourage crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is a hot debate whether the development of
technology
Use synonyms
 increases or reduces the possibility of crime. From my perspective, I maintain a neutral statement on
this
Linking Words
. On the one hand, the advancement of
technology
Use synonyms
 can prevent crimes before they emerge.
For instance
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, the cameras and GPS can track the routes of prisoners, and the facial recognition systems
lead
Verb problem
can help
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 police
to
Verb problem
apply
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confirm the information of criminals
better
Rephrase
more accurately
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.
This
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technology
Use synonyms
 provides more ease for the police to investigate the cases. Nowadays, residents are
also
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 equipped with some intelligent systems that can ensure their life security
also
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 to hinder
the
Correct article usage
apply
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thieves. Only in
this
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 way can technologies lead prisoners to be feared,
thus
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 helping citizens guarantee their quality of life
while
Linking Words
 reducing the probability of crime.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, high
technology
Use synonyms
 can cause the diversity of criminal behaviours. The development of AI and social media
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has led to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunities for various network crimes.
In addition
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, the personal information is easily obtained by criminals to cheat the residents.
For
Change preposition
apply
show examples
AI
technology
Use synonyms
 can simulate human voices and faces,
thus
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 making the target victims, especially the elderly,
eliminate
Verb problem
lose
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 their attention and be cheated away their money.
To sum up
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, high
technology
Use synonyms
 can indeed help people enhance their sense of security in
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
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 lives
,
Punctuation problem
;
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nevertheless
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,
this
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 means that prisoners can
also
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 learn high-tech methods to improve their criminal methods.
Therefore
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, I argue that the advancement of
technology
Use synonyms
 should be strictly enforced by laws to hinder the abuse of the internet and decrease the
happening
Check wording
occurrence
show examples
 of crimes.

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main idea
State your own view in a clear sentence in the end and keep it simple.
planning
Plan the essay before you write to keep ideas in order.
style
Use more linking words to show how ideas go together.
strength
Clear idea of both sides with some examples
structure
Intro, body and conclusion are present
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