IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show a typical American and a Japanese office

The diagrams below show a typical American and a Japanese office
The given diagram describes the layout of the typical working area in
the Japan and
Correct word order
Japan and the
show examples
 US.
Overall
Linking Words
,the plan of the Japanese
office
Use synonyms
 only has three main
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
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 to discuss and share
workers
Check wording
workers'
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 ideas,
while
Linking Words
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America is divided into many areas to provide workers privacy. Specifically,the Japanese
office
Use synonyms
 has two identical areas, including one desk for the section manager and six positions for
employers
Use the right word
employees
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. The position of the section manager is located behind
this
Linking Words
 district to
do
Verb problem
perform
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 their tasks easily.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,in the centre of the US
Use synonyms
office
Punctuation problem
office,
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located
Verb problem
there are
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 eight independent desks. The typical
office
Use synonyms
 in Japan only has one window and two doors
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are set up behind the position of the department manager.
Linking Words
Conversely
Add a comma
Conversely,
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 American companies construct two windows
at
Change preposition
on
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 the left and right sides
as well as
Linking Words
 doors at four
concerns
Check wording
corners
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 of their
office
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
seems that many functional rooms
such
Linking Words
 as conference, storage and printer copiers in the typical
office
Use synonyms
 of US enterprises

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words office with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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