IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance.

There is a debate over what contributes most to
success
Use synonyms
 in life
this
Linking Words
 hard
job
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work
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 and determination.
While
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 some
people
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 achieve
success
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due to
Linking Words
 wealth or physical attributes, for most
people
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,
success
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 is the result of
persistence
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 and hard
work
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. Some individuals achieve
success
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due to
Linking Words
 factors and knowledge they
did
Verb problem
have
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earn
Wrong verb form
earned
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,
such
Linking Words
 as wealth and looks.Yet appearances are deceiving
,
Punctuation problem
;
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that is
Linking Words
 but some
people
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 stopped believing in appearances.
However
Linking Words
, some achieve their goal with the help of their parents or with the help of money . Many models gain
success
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 by attracting attention through their looks, often by posting pictures online, leading to lucrative contracts and without useful relationships
but
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But
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 many businessmen rely on life experience and take risks Many rich
people
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 inherit wealth, building on generational assets rather than starting from scratch.
For example
Linking Words
 Walton, Koch, and Mars families.For the vast majority of
public
Correct article usage
the public
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,
success
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 is achieved through hard
work
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 and
persistence
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. J.K. Rowling, who faced numerous rejections before becoming a successful author, was an ordinary person Cristiano Ronaldo, whose
success
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 is
due to
Linking Words
 his tireless hard
work
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 and dedication to training, was able to achieve all
this
Linking Words
 with the help of his mother, who always supported him and
prepare
Wrong verb form
prepared
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 his son so that his son can surpass him These examples highlight the importance of
persistence
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 and hard
work
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 in achieving
success
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some achieve
success
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 through unearned advantages, for most,
success
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 is earned through
persistence
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 and diligence. Emphasise the value of hard
work
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 and
persistence
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 as key factors in achieving long-term
success
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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